


and hopelessness is sinking in

by calrissianns



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst galore, F/M, Gen, Jopper, One Shot, Stranger Things Season 3 Spoilers, like you will hate me if you don't already, mentions of mileven, song: bleeding out by imagine dragons, the season finale fucked me up man omg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 22:48:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19733242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calrissianns/pseuds/calrissianns
Summary: "so i bear my skinand i count my sinsand i close my eyesand i take it in"Jim Hopper has never been a selfless person, but with the world jeopardized, and the people he loves in grave danger, it's time to change.NOTES: This contains spoilers for Stranger Things 3.





	and hopelessness is sinking in

**Author's Note:**

> I don't typically write for Stranger Things, but after seeing season 3 I had to write this. This is dedicated to my friend @thejollymilano for inspiring me and encouraging me, and also to another friend, who gave me the idea for parts of this fic. 
> 
> Note: If I haven't made this obvious enough, this contains spoilers for Stranger Things 3.

Jim Hopper has never pictured death as anything but vicious. 

Death is inevitable. It travels all over, taking people from everyone. Too soon. And you can’t control it. Sarah couldn’t. 

But he learns that sometimes death is a beautiful thing. He hasn’t done a lot right in his life, and to think that, if heaven is real, he would end up there is laughable. He’s an addict, an arrogant asshole, someone who is prone to arguing and attacking instead of reasoning with his enemies. He couldn’t even honestly discuss his emotions with a pair of fourteen year olds. 

But now he has control over his own destiny. He thinks about Joyce, who stares at him with wide, beautiful eyes. Joyce, who more than ever, he wanted to be with. The woman who opened his eyes, not just to the unordinary, but to the complexity and joy of life. Poor Will who suffers more than any child his age should. Will and his friends, even that damn Mike Wheeler, who isn’t bad enough of a kid to go through all this. If he does this, he will be protecting Joyce, her children, and their friends and all they hold dear. 

Eleven, of course, will be safe. That’s what he cares about the most. After all the kid has been through, she deserves a chance to survive. To live. To grow up and have a boyfriend and friends and to go to prom and get her first car and do all the things a teenager should do. 

He couldn’t save Sarah, but he can save Eleven.

Choosing to die is a decision unlike him, no doubt. Hopper has always believed that human life is based on an instinct to survive any way it can. But there’s a transaction, to trade his life for many. It’s a small price to pay in the long run, and who doesn’t love a bargain?

He thinks of all the things he’s done wrong in his life, but it is overshadowed by good. 

Smoking in the hallway with Joyce, his hand in hers, back when they were teenagers who wanted to take the world by storm. 

Meeting his daughter Sarah for the first time. 

Finding Will, finding a purpose again. 

When Eleven showed up at his cabin for the first time, opening his heart in ways he thought could never happened again. 

Spending time with Joyce.

He looks at her, a smile on his face, admiring her for the last time. It’s okay, he wants to yell. _It’s alright_ . _Save the world, Joyce Byers. Just like you always do._

Joyce turns the key. Jim Hopper clutches his fist and bites his lip, ready.

And when he closes his eyes, it’s Sarah that stands in front of him, her hand out to greet him.

And gratefully, he takes it.

**Author's Note:**

> Why do I always write dead people


End file.
